You've Got To Be Kitten Me
by ThemSoundWaves
Summary: Sans worked a few jobs inside of Monster City, doing his best to provide an income to his family and their kind. Another day, another attack, another break-in, another police report, another problem. More than that, more than all those problems he was having one big one. One massive complication. His hotdogs. Someone was stealing his hotdogs. He planned to find out who


Major Timeline Of Events.

**-August 9th, 2018. 9:15PM**

The Fall. The day the Barrier was broken.

**-August 9th, 2018. 11:32PM.**

All monsters were taken into custody and put into quarintine

**-September 1st, 2018, 2:26 PM**

Monsters beguin Trial.

**October 18th, 2018. 1:40PM.**

Release. Monsters plead their case. They were sent to a camp called Harrow to test.

**November 10th, 2018. 3:46PM**

**December 26th,2018. 4:28PM.**

Monsters gained citizenship, and were released into society. Not permitted to leave the country.

**December 26th, 2018. 4:29PM**

A litter of kittens wAS born.

**January 20th, 2019. 4:15PM**

Present day.

_**Hello everyone, Don't ask me why, but I did it. You will never receive an answer. **_

**January 18th, 2019. 4:15PM**

The home was a single room, a toddler sized mattress laid on the floor, smushed up against the far wall. An old low living room table sat in the middle, around it strewn marbles and stuffed animals, a scratching post, and a clawed up box used for litter. Nine kittens a big litter~ one mom, all stuffed in this little room since the moment they were born. The kittens were a unique mix of calico, and the mother was most beautiful of them all. Then, there was one. One all black kitten with bright yellow eyes. She was different from the rest.

She sat on the windowsill, staring out into the backyard, wide eyes flicking at every twitch or blip of movement. Her tail flicked, her body was tense. She wanted nothing more than to get out there, to explore. Instead, she was stuck here, in this single room. The kitten hiccuped out a mew, swatting her paw against the window when a big bug floated by. Her brothers and sisters tackled each other on the floor, playing with their toys and scratching posts, while her mother sat on a low-end table and watched over it all.

The kitten had a plan today.

Slowly, she dropped down from the window sill and slunk her way over towards the closed door, the door she very briefly had a chance to look out of. There was a world outside these yellow walls, and the little black, puffy furr'd kitten had her mind set on seeing it.

"We have nine kittens. Five girls, four boys. Their old enough to be given homes now… I wanted you to take first pick." the kitten never understood the human's words, but hearing them, she knew, they were drawing close to the door.

The black animal slipped itself behind the dresser nearest the door, she sunk low on her stomach, breathing hyper as she waited. The door opened, and she bolted, throwing herself through the first set of small legs, into the world beyond. She didn't stop, even as the humans shouted behind her to catch her.

_Close the door!_

Too late. Large paws burst through the wide-open front door, into the outside world beyond, the kitten scrambled away into the bushes, feeling the grass on her paws for the first time, the smells in the air, her brain went wild with it. The humans, the ones the kitten recognized, came out the front door calling her, using those clicking sounds she grew to ignore. No. She was free, Look at this beautiful place! Look at all the colors!

Her mind was to wild with excitement, she stuck to the bushes, and took off into the wild.

**January 20th, 2019. 6:43PM.**

She was hungry, her stomach yowled and growled at her, as she padded across some street and into a nearby park. Two days of being on her own, the animal had no idea how to survive. By now, she wondered too far away to find her way home. She ate bugs and worms, but they were gross, in the night, when it got too cold, she mewled hopefully, wishing a human would bring her a nice bowl of cat mush. The kitten slunk into the park with her head lowered, eyes scanning the area. It was mostly empty, and this set the kitten at rest, through her hunger, she swatted at some swaying weeds, tumbled around and gave herself a dirt bath, and started inspecting the large colorful equipment. Halfway through her sniffings of a large yellow pole, she smelt it. Her head snapped up at breakneck speeds. In the air… it lingered.

A purr immediately lit up in her throat, as she followed her nose to where the smell was coming from. It was a stand, sitting in the middle of the park. A hotdog stand. The kitten didn't know what hotdogs were, but the smell coming from this stand was overwhelming, to say the least. She padded closer and closer. No one was around, but, there was a heavenly smelling piece of meat sitting on a plate, right in the middle of the stand's counter.

Like it was waiting for her.

She wasted no time, her hunger took over any thoughts of skepticism, the kitten dashed over to the stand, and after a few failed attempts, managed to crawl herself up to the fabric and onto the counter. She sniffed the meat, then took a few bites from it. Her tail flicked with ultimate happiness. The black stray sunk her sharp teeth into the 'dog, then jumped down and fled into the bushes, carrying her 'kill' proudly.

Sans made a noise as he stirred from his nap. There was a park bench not too far away from his stand, where he would often take his multiple breaks at. One of his sockets cracked open to observe his stand. There were voices filtering in, children, parents. Was it that time already? Certain hours were busier than others at his hotdog stand. Sure enough, he glanced around, humans and monsters alike wondered into the area, ready to enjoy a few evening hours of fun. Sans grumbled something under his breath, about having to actually stand up now.

Well, he didn't have to. He lifted up his hand and with a single twitch to his fingers, teleported approximately six feet away to his hotdog stand. It took him no more than five seconds to realize that his current hotdog 'on display' was missing, the white beads of his eyes flicked from left to right. Sans slept a lot, sure, but he was pretty damn good at being aware. Who could've snuck up like that and taken one of his dogs? Right under his slumbering nasal bone?

His first customer of the hour showed up and he was forced to put aside all thoughts about his missing mystery meat. As the night drew on, he forgot completely. Eight showed its face quicker than normal. Sans closed down his stand and went home.

The next two days warranted the same results. He would set up his stand, cook some dogs, lay out some buns, then sit back on his bench and wait for the busy hours. And of course, he would doze off. Every time he woke up, though, his display dog would be missing. No sounds, no evidence. It was almost as if someone had teleported the item away, which immediately had him thinking that one of his friends was messing with him.

Papyrus was too loud to sneak up on him, even when he was trying to be quiet if his voice wasn't screaming, his footsteps were. Undying might have been able to pull it off~ but she was too proud of herself. She would've admitted taking it after the first day, just to show off her feat. Frisk? No, Alphys? No. Grillby?

His beady white eyes darted over to Grillbys. The bar was nothing more than some tables and the bar itself, he was just starting to set up. Grillbys was one of the first stores, directly next to the park, it was within walking distance, which was why Sans chose to put his stand here, He worked at grillbys, there was a window directly facing the park that he could look out of, to check on his stand in those hours he worked both shifts. He was certainly close enough.

Sans teleported inside of the bar, looking over the few monsters that were here. Grillby was standing behind said bar, working on setting up a TV in the corner for his customers to watch. Sans strolled up to the bar top. Grillby didn't notice him at first until the skeleton brother cleared his throat. Grillby, for his surprise, turned around and greeted the brother with a bottle of ketchup in hand, calmly. Sans took the ketchup, sockets boring into the fire elementals glasses.

"you stealin' my 'dogs?" Sans asked steadily, Grillby stared at him, then his body flared smally, in what could only be assumed as a laugh, he shook his head no, and Sans grunted. "someones been stealin' my dogs." he informed the bartender, who leaned forward with his arms against the tabletop, looking almost amused at the skeletons anger. His fire crackled in question, Sans took a large swig of his ketchup bottle and swallowed before he responded.

"three days, you mind keepin' an eye out there for me? Let me know if you see anything." Grillby agreed, of course, nodding, trying to keep his flames under control. Needless to say, Sans left shortly after finishing his Ketchup. However, he had a goal. Tomorrow, he wouldn't sleep, he would keep his sockets open, and he would find this culprit. One way or another, It was going to end. Tomorrow.

The next day

Sans sat comfortably on his bench, resting back into the soft fuzz of his jacket. He wanted to sleep, he wanted to so badly, but he couldn't. He laid back, relaxed, and closed one of his sockets, kept the other one squinted enough to see his stand. He left the display dog sitting on the plate, as usual.

Twenty minutes later, he heard a purr.

Kitten POV.

She stared out from beneath a bush, eyes wide at the hotdog man. The kitten never saw a monster before, not that she knew the difference, but this human looked strange, his body was small and consisted of bones, the more she looked at him, the more interested she became. Bone human, human bones. Human bone man with tasty meat slugs. That's all that mattered.

She waited for him to take his nap, having gotten better at sneaking the dogs over the last few days, the growing, one-month-old kitten was starting to learn the best times to snag the meat. It was when the bone human meat man laid back on his bench. She waited, and waited, hunched low to the ground. Twenty minutes passed, and she began. Slowly crawling forward, every four or so steps, she would sink back into the low, freshly cut grass. She was purring in anticipation for yet another fresh meat stick. She continued her route. Four steps lay, four steps, lay. For steps~ she was right beneath the stand now, the kitten reached up and latched her claws onto the dangling cloth, and started heaving herself up. This time had gone smoother than the others, she learned how to climb the cloth quite easily. The kitten laid down in front of the plate, getting herself comfortable. She reached out, and snagged the meat in her claws, and tucked it close to her as if to cuddle the thing.

She opened her mouth to take a bite, but a deep, cutting voice from behind her, startled her into yowling.

"aye." it wasn't a yell, not close to it anyway. It was too late, the pungent taste of hotdog was already on her tongue, the kitten hissed, loudly, using her paws to scoop the hotdog further under her body, as if hiding it would delete the fact that she was stealing it. The skeleton approached, slowly, the kitten's hair stuck up across her body as he came nearer, magical energy twisting around the feline who was becoming more and more scared by the second.

It was too much, he was too big and she was too hungry, the kitten yowled at him, chomped down on the dog, then leapt impossibly far off the stand, She scrambled into the bushes, disappearing once more.

Sans stood there, staring off into the foliage around the park. He could've easily used his magic to stop the animal from taking his food, but he hadn't. It was a baby, just a little baby animal looking for something to eat. Sans sighed. He packed up his stand early, then sent his brother a text.

**Boneman: hey bro, you up for some trapping** **tomorrow?**

**PaPyRuS: OF COURSE! I AM ALWAYS UP**

**FOR SOME TRAPPING!**

**Boneman: k, meet me at the stand at** **six, found out whose**

**been stealing my 'dogs.**


End file.
